lost and found

I know there is nothing anyone can do or say to make me feel better. I know that it's up to me to find my own truth.. to find my own happiness. Sometimes I reach out.. I think I just want to be taken care of... I want someone else to make things better for me. But deep down, I know it doesn't work like that. I know that isn't possible. I have spent my whole life taking care of myself... growing up there was never anyone there to comfort me or to wipe the tears from my eyes. As an adult, I found support and comfort in my friends. But I also know that those friends can only do so much.. the rest I have to do on my own. I think it's okay to reach out.. but also to remember to reach inside to the deepest and strongest part of myself. Only I hold the key to my own happiness.

So, today, I try to wipe away the tears and force myself to get off this couch. I'll have a shower, get dressed and head out into the world. I'm trying hard to face the changes that are coming.. that are already here. I'm trying not to dwell in the sadness.

Right now I feel lost... but I long to find myself.