Do I have words to express all the emotions?

i reach inside myself
and one by one
open all the drawers that i have kept locked

and once again i let myself feel...

happy. excited. sad. sorry. empty. loving. fearful. guilty. joyous. angry. confused. betrayed. frustrated. melancholic. ecstatic. overwhelmed. calm. drained. productive. peaceful. nostalgic. scared. loved. hated. depressed. exhausted. crazy. thankful. hopeful.

i do not know what to do with all that i feel. i no longer know how to express. i don't know who i can trust with which emotions... i no longer know who i can turn to. i am facing the biggest change in my life and am filled with so many emotions.

mostly i am excited for the future. i am happy about the challenges before me. i am thankful for all those who helped me on this journey.. those that helped me to finally let go of my fears and move forward in my life.

in moving forward there is always the sadness of what we are leaving behind. i know that my friends who are important will not disappear just because there will be 2000 miles separating us now. yet, there will be sadness in the 2000 miles... no more walks to meet for breakfast on a sunday morning. no more coffees. just lots of phone calls and emails for a little while.

life changes so quickly... this is what i have realized lately. the potential always exists for such change... and when we embrace it instead of running from it, that is when we really begin to grow.