You are nothing... yet you are everything...

these words feel like they are not my own.. they feel foreign to me. i close my eyes and i type and this is what wants to come out of my head tonight... but what do they mean? three distinct thoughts present themselves.. these words do not belong together. yet... tonight... they want to be together...


if all the days in the world were within this day.. i would hold out my hands forever to you. i would take you under my wing and i would love you for all eternity. i do not understand any other way. how we can hold on so tightly and let go once all is said and done. how we can remove our hands so quickly... why we empty our pockets and love another without first knowing what it is to truly love. i do not pretend to understand.


there is an emptiness... a longing...a silent void, yet i do not look at it. i do not see. i am happy now.. here. this day, i am happy. i am free and loving and full of life. i want you to understand as i do.


i lay awake most nights in the thought of you. i try to empty the noise... the clutter... i try to push you away, yet i long to hold on. to the thought of you... for a thought is all you can be. tonight... as i lay there... you are so far away. and you do not understand.. nobody can really understand what i do not even know within myself. how could i expect you to understand?!!

you are nothing to me... yet you are everything....